If your leisure's become work, find new leisure
Sometimes the things that we depend on to relax us – a cottage, a family holiday, a whirlwind tour of Europe – can become stressful to maintain or to plan. And leisure activities like quilting groups or church volunteer work can also become just one more commitment on the calendar. Scale back a little and find something simple to do together to enjoy each other's company in a truly relaxing way. Some simple pleasures include:
• Order dinner in and eat on the patio or on the floor
• Get massages together
• Explore a local park, trail, or neighbourhood for an afternoon – with no set destination or agenda in mind
• Despite high gas prices, an afternoon drive out of your area and coffee in a town you haven't explored can be a great investment in time together
• Take an afternoon off work together mid-week – sometimes the sense of "getting away with" a day off can lead to sparks
Start a project together
If raising a family's been your major project for years, the "empty nest" malaise in a relationship can come as something of a shock. Spouses can easily drift into separate activities, and over time this can lead to a feeling of living separate lives. One way to bring new energy into your relationship is to find something new to do together. Learning a new sport – or getting back into an old one – can create a great routine for togetherness, as can tackling a hobby or even renovating one's home (although be careful of that last – renovations can also stress you out!) Other ideas include fixing up old antiques together, learning a language, taking an art or cooking class, doing genealogical research, or even getting a puppy. Part of the fun is deciding what to learn together.
Laugh together
Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. Look for a chance to be lighthearted in each other's company – book an evening at a comedy club, visit an open-air music or arts festival, rent some old favourites, or head out to the zoo to enjoy some animal antics. Save some funny stories for the dinner table. Or head out to an amusement park. Whatever gets your smile going is something valuable to share – and may put that bounce back in both you and your spouse's step.